I don't even know how to explain how I feel about today. My mood today hasn't been great thanks to the lack of sleep the last couple nights. Sorry ... I'm a person who needs her sleep. While I'd love a solid 8 hours ... I'm down to calling 5 1/2-6 sufficient.
Trey has a head old which means whacky sugars. We also have had 2 snow days from school so the kids have been at home, playing electronics and not following a schedule or getting 45 minutes of recess time (although I did make them go outside each day). What I'm getting at is that Trey's been running high for about ... 3 days. We are using oils in a diffuser and on his feet as well as sucking on vitamin c drops but it is what it is ... an illness.
Then last night T1D decides to be an asshole and hover at about 75-80 all night long. While that's a great blood sugar, it's not so great for night-time. In addition, my alert is set at 75 so my phone will buzz when he gets to 75 and his alert is set at 80 so his monitor buzzes at 80. There was A LOT of buzzing last night. At 3am I wake - because I always wake at 3am - and I decide to set a temp basal on his pump so he gets a little less insulin for the next three hours because Momma needs her beauty rest. Wouldn't you know that 800 dump trucks decide this is the best time to start hauling snow out of town? About every 15 seconds there is a dump truck going 50mph down 8th Ave hitting that little sewer hole that is RIGHT OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM WINDOW which makes it sound like whatever vehicle hits it, is coming through my bedroom wall. It was 4:18am the last time I looked at the clock. 6:39am my alarm goes off and I knew from the second my eyes opened .... momma was in a bad mood.
So Trey has peanut butter toast and bacon for breakfast. I only allowed one piece because lately 2 pieces of toast sends him over 200. Jordan doses insulin and away they go off to school. About 8:30 I check his CGM number and he's 289. WHAT??? I confirm with Jordan insulin was given. At 9:15 I get a message from Nurse Heather that says 297 with a sad face. Yep ... awesome. She gives him a snack, doses insulin and we wait. Soon we are looking at 350 and I knew something was wrong. More insulin given and a conversation with Jordan about what we should do. It's creeping up to lunch time and his CGM is now reading "HIGH" which means it's over 400.
Keep in mind momma was 1) short on sleep 2) angry as soon as she woke up 3) working with 3 toddlers, 2 infants and 2 more extra drop-in children today 4) trying to prepare daycare kids lunch 5) arguing with a fellow DoTerra oil user/seller about benefits of oils and T1D 6) listening to her husband asking "what should I do?"
I'm now worried about Trey. Obviously something isn't right and he needs to have his ketones checked and probably needs a pump change. Jordan went to school - Moderate ketones and sugar 347. Trey ate lunch, went outside and sugars continued to climb so he changed the pump site. Ketones are now gone, sugar coming down fairly well so all is well.
2:08pm (3 of 7 daycare kids awake already ... just tossing this fun fact in there for drama effect) message from Nurse Heather "60 - juicing".
Oh. My. God.
From 400 to 60. I honestly wanted to cry, scream, throw up, run away, and kick the cat. I just kept saying "poor Trey ... his poor little body. What does a high to low sugar like that do to my little guy?" Jordan was quite worried as well. So was Nurse Heather. He ended up having four juice boxes between 2 and 3:10. He also had applesauce. He rode between 70-75 from the time he got home at 3:15 until supper at 6pm. When he walked in the door, he looked like total shit. He was pale, he had dark bags under his eyes, he looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. I asked if he was OK and he said no. He said he just feels bad. Couldn't explain to me what it was, but he didn't feel good. Right before supper he was at 84. Spaghetti (whole grain pasta), 2 breadsticks, Fairlife milk. He went up to 150 but by 7:30 he was back down to the perfect 100. Bag of cheetos at bedtime and now 107.
Sometimes I just don't understand. I mean, I usually don't understand, but on days like today, when diabetes flat out kicks his (our) ass ... it sucks the life right out of you. I can't imagine what Trey felt today .. the high down to the low, all the sugar from juice in his system ... all of it. He missed so much class time today because he was in the office getting 'fixed up'. I was exhausted from the worry. From trying to figure out what to do next, how many carbs to say to give and when to give it. The constant checking of the CGM to see if he was finally trending down and then trending back up. Nurse Heather actually called me about 3:06 today because as Trey was in line for the bus in the gym, he really didn't feel good so he grabbed a teacher and she took him back down to the office. He was 56 via finger poke. Heather made him slam a juice as she called me and asked if he should ride the bus.
It's scary sometimes. People tell us we are strong and Trey is brave and strong and the truth is - we really have to be. It truly is a mater of life and death and we all do have to work together and be on the same page because if we aren't ... Trey isn't being taken care of and I can't lose my little boy. It's reality - it's a reality that no one wants to talk about. Many people don't even realize T1 can kill a person. No, we don't like to focus on the bad (blindness, numbness in the nerves, losing limbs, loss of kidney's) but it's reality. It is also reality that T1 people can live a very long, full, 'healthy' life. It's a fact that T1's are some of the strongest people on the planet. It's a fact that T1's are brave. It's also a fact that there are days that T1 kicks your ass and beats you down and reduces you to tears and you question "why?" because you're so tired and frustrated.
Real life ... real disease .. real people ... really sucks. Truly.
Thank God tomorrow is another day.
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